Date Someone You Actually Like
When I was in college, I had a friend who was in a frat. "Stephen," he used to say to me, "these new pledges don't get it. It's not about how many women you sleep with -- it's about how hot the women you sleep with are."
I used to agree with him. Today, I'm not so sure. It's not that I think it is better to sleep with a lot of women than to sleep with only the hot ones. Not at all. The measure of a man's success with women is neither the number of women or the beauty of the women.
What really matters is how cool the women are. Yea, I love beautiful women. I don't date ugly girls. Beauty is a necessary -- but not sufficient -- condition for me to date a woman.
The last couple weeks I've been dating three women regularly. I would give two of them 7-8's and one of them a 9.5-10. Now, in all honesty, the girls I'm ranking 7-8 most men are ranking 9-10. It's not that either of them are not beautiful. On the contrary, the third woman is just absolutely stunning, the type of girl that makes you stick out your tongue and shake your head like a Looney Toon.
You want to know what's funny? I prefer hanging out with both of the 7-8's far, far more than the dime. They're real girls: I see them for who they really are. They don't hide their flaws, nor do they try to put on a mask of being perfect. They are simply who they are. I like that.
The dime is cool, don't get me wrong. We joke and laugh, a number of times we've had interesting conversations. Still, she hides who she is. When we go out to dinner, she doesn't even offer to pay: she just assumes I am going to pay. When I ask her about her life and her story, she only shows me qualities about her life that make her look good. Have you ever met someone where you can't quite put your finger on it, but you just get the sense that they are being false? That's her. I get the impression that she's afraid to let her guard down. Everything she says is calculated.
I'm not saying all gorgeous women are like this. They're not. I've dated many, many dimes who are awesome, interesting, genuine people. My point is that even though this woman is an absolute stunner, I find myself not attracted to her.
A lot of guys in this situation -- even guys that are really good with women -- would continue talking to the girl. After all, she's gorgeous. How many chances in your life will you get to sleep with a woman that is that hot?
Not me, though. My father is a successful business man and he always says to me, "Stephen, never do business with people that want to do business in a way that you don't want to. Enough people will do things the way you like to do them. You never have to compromise." Women are the same. I don't care how hot a chick is. If she doesn't catch my interest, than she doesn't catch my interest. Being beautiful isn't enough for me. Maybe when I was younger it was, but not anymore.
When you hear these pick-up gurus talk about an abundance mentality, this is what they are talking about. In all honesty, I only ever meet a woman that is as beautiful as this girl once every year or two. It doesn't matter. I know my own worth. I know what I want out of a woman. If she isn't it, she has to go. It's that simple. I believe I deserve to have my cake and eat it too.
Maybe you should start thinking that way, too.